The whole family is home and home may not be that big of a space. Everyone is missing their friends, everyone is getting bored and this can make for a not so peaceful household. Today we are going to use a mindfulness exercise that I often will coach families on before they leave for a family vacation. This technique prepares us to use our mindfulness skills while in close quarters for an extended period of time.

Be prepared. Take time to review these steps before calling your family meeting. It will go much more smoothly if you have space, timing and even some language you think will make sense to your kids ready to go. Think about your intentions- the more confident you feel about the activity the more enthusiasm and support you will gain from your family.
Hold a family meeting. Make it look as relaxing and fun as possible. Go ahead and set out snacks. Plan to play a favorite family game after your intention setting exercise is complete.
Set the parameters. “Hey everybody, this will take 10 minutes (or whatever amount of time you think depending on number of family members, their ages, and their ability to focus) and after we are done we get to play this game.. . “ Explain that everyone will be setting an intention that will benefit their time in quarantine with their family. “We are thinking of something we can focus on doing everyday to help us get along better as a family or show each other how much we love one another, or makes us closer or stronger or more peaceful, have more fun together . . .” Whatever feels like it fits your family vibe. Each family member gets to choose and as a group you will hold each other accountable through a weekly family check in. I would finish with a game each time if possible.
Choose a personal goal. Parents be ready with examples, “Guys, should I choose between being patient when this happens. . . .or should I choose to make more time for homework help?” Help kids digest the activity by allowing younger children to draw and giving older kids the autonomy to think on their own for a few minutes and then come back. Validate off topic intentions (Warning: there will be super off topic, were you listening, how on earth did you get that from what I said intentions). It’s important to acknowledge their intention to be intentional here. All joking aside, let them have more than one, be curious as to why “building a dinosaur robot everyday” is important to them, and then help redirect them back to something that would benefit their relationship to the family.
Decide as a family how you want to be held accountable. Should we mention this to one another when we see it happening? Not happening? Would that be helpful? Should we wait for our meeting? Family members will feel more willing to fully engage if they are able to participate in this decision. As always, use your own judgement and lean on your parent gut. If at any point you thought, “For my family I think that would be chaotic but this would be easier”- do it! I cannot read the room that is your living room, only you can do that.
Finally, check in with the intentions regularly. During each weekly check-in, as yourselves, How intentional were we with our goals this week? Allow each person to rate their own progress. This can be done by a number rating system or a rating system they are familiar with either from home or school. Have your child identify what helped them to reach their goal that week. Explore what might have gotten in the way if your child reports difficulty meeting their intention. If a child is self-critical be ready to identify a positive action they took even if small. When each family member has had a turn, play a game together. This gives a chance for any hurt feelings to come out and be addressed. For our kids who take performance and achievement really seriously, a game is a reminder that they are loved and accepted in their family no matter how they appraised their intention work that week.

Intention Setting for a Family Reset During Quarantine